everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
