fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize