I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize