I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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