from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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