is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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