Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The air was thick with penises
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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