the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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