You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she smelled like a LAN party
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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