coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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