their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
