it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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