I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
