So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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