he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
