You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He did a backflip because drugs
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize