I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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