You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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