i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
