So drunk its hurt
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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