Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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