Whod you bang
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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