I think I am morally bankrupt
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
