I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
