No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm too high and old for this...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
