I'm really into asian looking animals
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
