yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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