therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
