Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
