awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
