i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
