I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Hello my rib-scented angel!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize