so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
