Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
