you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
