It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
