nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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