We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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