Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize