North Korea, Best Korea!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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