I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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