She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
