Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
