Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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