id be glad to
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
