any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
