do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
