New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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