She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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