This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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