On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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