im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
