Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
