You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
