We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
