I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
