so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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