Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
