STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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